Understanding Self-Discovery and Change – Poem by Portia Nelson There’s a Hole in my Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery
“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.”
This poem by Portia Nelson is one of my favourite poems. It succinctly describes the path we all walk when we are making changes, the obstacles and recurring problems of life the habitual patterns, negative cycles and life challenges that trip us up. It demonstrates how we can repeat our negative patterns as we learn and grow until we eventually make the decision to do something differently. Making changes and breaking habits can involve acknowledging mistakes and accepting our behaviour, it’s important that we do this without judgment until we eventually decide that we will fully commit to the change we want to make, when we increasingly take responsibility for our actions, feel more empowered and conscious about our approach to life and choices.
For me the poem tells a story of someone learning from their mistakes, embracing responsibility and choosing a new path towards growth. In another blog on this website we explore this in more depth as we consider the Cycle of Change. The Cycle of Change – Embracing Transformation and Growth
Other Blogs that you might find useful
Making Difficult Changes – Tips and Ideas
Dealing with Unexpected changes
Micro Habits – Small Steps Equals Big Changes
Smart Recovery – Stages of Change
verywellmind – The Six Stages of Change
If you are struggling with making a change or managing a habit that isn’t good for you, you might want to speak to a professional about your circumstances. Paul Carter is an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) practitioner as well as a counsellor and psychotherapist. If you are looking for support, call Paul Carter now to book an appointment or to discuss your issues further. At the moment, Paul is working online and in person. To make an appointment please call Paul on 07843 813 537 or fill in the form on the Contact Page, if he doesn’t answer he is probably in a session, please leave him a message and he will call you back as soon as he can.
